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Yesterday while President Obama was giving his farewell address in front of a crowd of teary eyed supporters, the Internet was going into full meltdown mode over fresh new documents alleging that his successor, President Elect Donald J. Trump was being blackmailed by Russia with a tape of The Donald engaging in a Golden Showers fetish with Russian prostitutes. The good news is it looks like the inauguration planning committee finally signed a big name act: they just booked Two Girls, One Cup.
The explosive documents released by BuzzFeed News allegedly obtained by a former British intelligence official contain information that if true would be considered highly treasonous with Trump exchanging information with Moscow. However nobody cares about the treason stuff because in the report it states that Trump hired Russian prostitutes to piss in front of him on a bed that Obama once slept in. This took place at the presidential suite at the Moscow Ritz Carlton which was bugged with recording devices by the Russian government at the time.
Despite Trumps protests people were quick to believe the news. (He later said the reports were like something out of Nazi Germany and besides; he would never partake in water sports since he is a germaphobe.) After all Trump loves to cover everything he comes in contact with, with GOLD. So it makes sense that he would want himself covered in a golden shower. The only thing that could be more Trumpian is if the Russian prostitutes were squirting his name in giant letters on the side of a building.
Donald might be right. There were a lot of questions about the documents right away. First of all they say that Russia has been working on Trump for FIVE YEARS before the election; highly suspect that Putin was sitting around in 2011 thinking “Man, the dude from ‘The Apprentice’ has a shot at being President; he’d be a good Manchurian candidate!”
Secondly, why is everyone upset about this? You are all just being a bunch of whiny snowflakes if knowing that your President has a pee- pee fetish offends you. I mean who of us hasn’t asked a girl if we can watch her pee, am I right guys? …Guys?
While supporters of Trump loved all of the Wikileaks document dumps on Hillary during the election, it turns out that the Trump Dump is more of a NUMBER ONE. Some of the Wikileaks allegations included wild claims like the Democratic Party was running a pedophile ring inside of a Washington D.C. Pizza parlor. So with this history of the news media reporting on unfounded “document leaks” that turned out to be fake news, BuzzFeed came under quick scrutiny for the release. Their excuse for doing so was basically their version of “I’m just asking questions.”
Even anti-Trump publications like the Washington Post called them out for their lack of journalistic integrity. But if the dishonest lying liberal media agrees that the documents are fake… does that mean they are REAL? What? As the editor from Buzz Feed says, judge for yourself. Here is the full document to read:
However it seems that other journalists were correct to question the report. In the same way that ISIS “claims” responsibility for horrible stuff, 4chan is now “claiming” responsibility for the lengthy document which apparently has reached the highest levels of the United States intelligence community. CNN did confirm that the documents, true or not, were shared with both Obama and Trump by the heads of the CIA and FBI. Yet today Redditors under the sub Reddit R/TheDonald and 4chan’s /pol/ forum noted a post from November 1st – a week before the election, which they say proves they invented the Trump Golden Showers documents.
In the post from November an anonymous 4Chan user says that he gave the fake information to Rick Wilson, a Trump critic and the campaign manager for Evan McMullin, the Utah independent presidential candidate. In the past Wilson publically claimed to have BOMBSHELL Trump information and the 4Chan users say they are the ones who made it up and gave it to him.
In another twist, this claim too is unverifiable. Wilson denies that he was the source of the Trump pee-pee Putin dump. Besides, how did this document make it to the highest levels of the intelligence community? And what about the British spy who allegedly provided them? Wouldn’t the CIA be able to verify that before sharing that info with the POTUS and POTUS-Elect? I’m just asking questions. The only thing we can be certain of is that we are living in a post truth world and words have no meaning anymore.
Hey maybe a great way to get Trump to stop talking about conspiracy theories is that every time he makes crap up like “Obama was born in Kenya” – the CIA will release a fresh new document with “proof” that Donald is into some weird fetish. Muslim Americans cheered on 9/11 in New Jersey? Hey Donald, what’s this Russian intelligence about you having a thing for wearing a diaper while getting paddled?
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