The day you get married is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. With the divorce rate in this country sitting right at a fat 50%, this is clearly not the case for most people. Nor is it the case for the poor bride in this video, who had her vows interrupted by the wedding officiant puking right behind her:
To be fair to the officiant, she made this wedding memorable. Were you listening to the bride’s vows before the barf? “I promise to be your biggest advocate and your best friend.” What kind of weak shit is this? Gimme something personal and meaningful, like “I promise to ask before stealing fries off your plate at lunch,” or “When the toilet paper runs out I swear I will always replace it instead of letting the brown tube hang like a big ‘FUCK YOU’ on the holder.” That’s true love right there, not “friendship” or whatever other blowhard terms you came up with after Google searching “best wedding vows.”
Honestly, the bride should be thanking the officiant’s stomach for giving her a good ol’ fashioned punt to the gut, because otherwise I would’ve declared this wedding to be horseshit. Now, where’s my salmon?