Ya’ll know what you do with your phone in the bathroom, and now there is definite proof that you should never borrow someone else’s phone, like ever. A new gadget is hitting store shelves just in time for Christmas that will allow smartphone users to KISS each other remotely. It’s like Skype but with way more tongue.
Dubbed “The Kissenger” – a combination of the words “kiss” and “messenger” the device is the result of years of work at The National University of Singapore. That is where in 2011 this unholy abomination of an idea was birthed. What happened to cutting a hole in a teddy bear like a normal person?
Since then the resulting company has worked with developers from around the world to create a piece of plastic that wiggles around and makes it seem like you are kissing a human from afar. It is a perfect device for long distance lovers and for terrorists to remember why they hate Western culture so much.
When I first hear the term “Kissenger” I thought they were talking about an app that lets you make out with Henry Kissinger:
Sadly I was wrong. In that movie Her Joaquin Phoenix wanted to bang his cell phone, well now through a series of pressure sensors and actuators that record and transmit your kiss while paired with video calling, you can literally feel like you are getting smooch from your lover. Or cam girl, whichever you prefer.
The company even says it is perfect for parents who want to kiss their children goodnight but can’t be there to do it in person. So would you use the Kissenger?
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