I woke up this morning thinking it’d be a great day. I skipped the gym, ate a bomb-ass sandwich for lunch, and have been listening to the Spice Girls nonstop. It’s November 1—the holiday season is upon us. The Starbucks cups are here! There are many things that made me think today would be, to put it simply, the Best Day Ever.
But now I’m seeing red. This perfect day has gone to hell because Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber were photographed cuddling in public. Yes, you read that sentence correctly: Gomez decided the best thing to do after breaking up with America’s Hottest Thirst Trap, The Weeknd, was to ring up her old flame and ride bikes with him. (They hung out last week, too. Apparently, their participation in the same church, Hillsong, is bringing them back together.)
Is this a belated Halloween prank? The dawn of the apocalypse? 2017 caving into itself?
One thing’s for sure: It’s real. We have the photos to prove it. Here’s Bieber and Gomez riding down the street on bicycles like two ’50s kids en route to a sock hop.
And here they are chatting over what I can only imagine is some kind of witchy potion disguised as coffee. How else can you explain this reconciliation? It’s obviously dark magic.
Now for the pièce de catastrophe: the cuddle pic. Yes, that is 100 percent Selena Gomez and 100 percent Justin Bieber 100 percent grabbing onto each other like it’s 2011.
It’s all just too much. Why, SelGo? Why? There are a million better things you could be doing than latching onto the dude whose best song is called “Beauty and a Beat.” Here’s a non-exhaustive list: Rent an island in the Caribbean with Taylor Swift for the weekend, binge-watch Stranger Things 2 and get inspiration for future “Bad Liar” performances, get frozen yogurt with Demi Lovato and break the Internet.
Look, here’s the thing: Gomez, of course, has every right to hang out with Bieber. If it makes her happy, then that’s amazing. At the end of the day, that’s all her fans—myself included—want for her. It’s just perplexing, though. What is the logic? Why is this happening?
The heart wants what it wants, I guess.