Man being interrogated. Photo: Henrik Sorensen (Getty)
There is something inherently unnatural about job interviews. You’re supposed to go into a place you aren’t familiar with, talk to people you’ve never met, and present yourself in the best light possible.The worst part is that the interviewers tend to act like vicious predators disguised as herbivores. You constantly need to be aware that they’re judging your every move, every unintentional smile, and every misplaced word. Let’s analyze these vicious judges by taking a look at some of the worst job interview questions you can have thrown at you.
5. Why do you think you’re a perfect fit for our company?
The answer they want you to give: Because I’ve carefully analyzed the company’s profile and feel like my skills and personal goals work perfectly with the job requirements.
The answer you want to give: Because you seem to have a lot of money and I just so happen to be in great need of the aforementioned currency.
4. Where do you see yourself in five years?
The answer they want you to give: By then, I expect to be a valuable member of your company who has, numerous times, helped its progress and successfully completed hundreds of worthy projects.
The answer you want to give: Somewhere in the Bahamas, sipping on a Pina Colada, all the while thinking how I managed to get away from my extremely boring job and obnoxious colleagues.
3. What do you think your starting salary should be?
The answer they want you to give: For me, this job is not about money. It’s about the satisfaction I get when the work is done. Since compensations is quite a touchy subject, how about I work for free for a couple of years, just to see how it works out?
The answer you want to give: Well, how much have you got? I can tell you if you offer me a huge amount right now, it’s unlikely that I will say no. So, start adding those zeros.
2. Can you tell us what you think are your flaws?
The answer they want you to give: I think that my biggest flaw is loving this company too much. Besides that, I sometimes work way too much for no additional incentive, which some might see as a flaw. For me, it’s a delight.
The answer you want to give: Definitely alcohol, general irresponsibility, and laziness. Oh wait, how many am I supposed to list? I mean, we could be here all day.
1. When can you start?
The answer they want you to give: I can start right this second. In fact, I’ve already started working at home and have a couple of projects just waiting for your approval.
The answer you want to give: Well, there’s this concert on Friday and my best friend is coming, so we’re probably going to get completely wasted. Truth be told, you shouldn’t expect to see me for at least a week. And when you do see me, I will probably look like an exhausted vampire. But not as cool…
Yes, these are some of the worst job interview questions out there. Perhaps, if we all work together and troll every interview from now on, we can stop them from popping up altogether.