Python Crawls Up Toilet, Bites Man On Penis: He Fights For His Life


This is the number one thing most men fear happening while sitting on the toilet and for one poor son of a bitch it actually happened. A man in Thailand with a kickass name, Atthaporn Boonmakchuay, was sitting on the porcelain throne in his own home when a PYTHON snake crawled up the pipe and bit him on the tip of his penis. While some folks may pay good money for that sort of thing Attaporn is not one of them and quickly screamed for his wife. 

He let it live, would you?

The horrified pooper reached between his legs and grabbed the giant python that was clamping down on his own trouser snake with powerful jaws. He began to violently smash and hit the snake, jumping around in his bathroom, but nothing he could do would make the reptile release its toothy grip.  Come on snake, always remember: watch the teeth!

The blood splattered mess looks like the elevator scene from The Shining, yet luckily for Atthaporn, most of the blood was from the weiner snatching snake. The brave man gallantly fought for his manhood but knew this was a situation that could end with the slithering serpent having a salty snack at his expense.

He was not about to let that damn snake take away the only thing that matters. He took a rope, wrapped it around the head of the 13 foot long snake and tied the other end of the rope to the bathroom door before he passed out from blood loss. This guy is like the Steve Irwin of taking a dump.

The face of two doctors who just had a good laugh.

Atthaporn was hospitalized and thankfully all his party parts are in working order. However, the same can’t be said for his bathroom. Emergency crews were called in to smash the toilet to pieces and free the still living, cock gobbling python that was stuck there. Although I’m thinking they should have left it halfway sticking out of the toilet and it could have been a weird fetish tourist destination to Thailand. It would look like the carnivorous plant in Little Shop of Horrors.

Follow Phil Haney @PhilHaney


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