Pokémon Is Watching You! Is Pokémon Go A Government Surveillance Conspiracy?

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Are you addicted to Pokémon Go? It seems that the entire nation is hunting for little virtual cartoon monsters in augmented reality while ignoring the true evil that lurks right in their phone.

Even tweens feel old looking at this.

In addition to creating a meth like addiction for users, the new Pokémon app might be a sinister plot by the government to track our every move and report on us to Big Brother. Why would anyone think that? It is right in the Pokémon Go app user agreement!

Edward Snowden is not going to be happy about this.

Like many app user agreements that nobody ever reads Pokémon Go states that it uses your location data, camera and even has full access to your Google account when you are signed in (which for most Android users is a default.) However some have pointed out that this app takes things a step further with Orwellian overtones as to reporting users to the authorities.

I think we have a rat.

Now instead of just the folks at Google, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Snapchat, Myspace and Friendster following American citizens every move since they willingly share all of their personal information there, Pokémon Go will also be reporting on you.

Most people only like sharing this level of personal data when they know they are about to do it. However Pokémon Go tracks you and you don’t even realize it. Furthermore the game was designed by a firm called Niantic, which was created by John Hanke. Hanke, previously founded a company called Keyhole. Keyhole was purchased in 2004 by Google to become GOOGLE EARTH. You know, the people in the cars with cameras recording every inch of the earth. Keyhole was funded by a government entity known as the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency (NGA) that invests in surveillance technologies. And now half the country has them on their phone.

So what does it matter? As it was widely reported a girl playing the game already found a dead body by a river in Wyoming. Someone obviously put that body there and did not want it to be found. Now Big Brother Pokémon has to poke around and let the authorities know about the murder. Thanks Pokémon!

Sure that time the user reported the murder herself, but what about next time? Lighting up a fresh doobie after a hard day hunting for a Rattata. You might think twice. What are you doing that Pokémon is going to report on?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

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