Some of us watch the Olympics to see feats of athleticism and strength; others, like myself, watch in the hopes of seeing someone (ideally not an American, but I don’t discriminate) eat shit on the slopes followed by a slow-motion instant replay. But at no point has anyone who’s tuned in to watch the athletes compete ever been presented with the skill that Elizabeth Swaney presented during her women’s half pipe ski run:
RT if you could have scored a better run than Elizabeth Swaney
— YourSports (@YourSports) February 20, 2018
What grace, and such fire and determination in her heart! It’s almost like she’s been training for this her entire life instead of accidentally wandering onto the slopes looking for the gift shop.
Just kidding – she’s slurpin’ fat turds over there in Pyeongchang.
Skiing for Hungary, Swaney is an American who managed to steal a spot on the team by failing upwards. Not only did she pay her way to attend every World Cup event, but since women’s half pipe skiing is a relatively new event she was only competing against ~28 women at every cup. And because she doesn’t do any tricks because that would require her to possess more than the skiing ability of a third grader, she technically doesn’t get any points deducted – so at December’s World Cup in China, she finished 13 out of 15 women.
Live footage of Swaney’s training routine.
Understandably, people were a mix of amused and pissed…
“That’s right kids, you too can get into the Olympics just like Elizabeth Swaney.
1. Have enough money to travel the world competing in skiing events for 2 years.
2. Make sure the events have less than 30 competitors.
3. Place in the Top 30.”
— #VoteThemOut 202-224-3121 ???? (@KsKM3) February 19, 2018
I recall someone saying to me once (joking?) that we should have one regular person in the Olympics to serve as a baseline to show us how amazing Olympic athletes really are… well… ladies & gentlemen… Elizabeth Swaney is that person #PyeongChang2018https://t.co/z7soEYcyHX
— Douglas Gelevan (@DGelevan) February 19, 2018
…but a few people came out to defend her performance:
To those who are criticising @ElizabethSwaney freeskiing at the Olympics: at least she is there, competing, while you are only sitting in front of your screens….
— Zsófi M. (@zsofimajor) February 19, 2018
These are also the same types of people who think giving your best effort is all that it should take to succeed in life. I can put forth my “best effort” to be a dairy cow all I want, but at the end of the day I’m still pissing in bottles and shitting in an open field.
What do you think – does Swaney deserve the hate? Let us know in the comments!