Not all porn stars are dumb, but it’s not like you’d hire one to tutor your kids in math either (unless every equation in the practice book included the number 69.) So when Mia Khalifa made the bold announcement that she’d “rather date a vegan than a Cowboys fan” on Twitter, it should come as a surprise to no one that she wasn’t expecting the forthcoming onslaught of people tearing her a new one for saying something so stupid.
For starters, I’ve yet to meet a vegan that wasn’t at least 60% crazy, 30% recycled grocery bags and 10% ASPCA commercial — also known as “Satan’s trifecta.” Throw me the fattest, sloppiest Cowboys fan known to man and he’s still above every single vegan in the book since he’ll at least eat box (vegans don’t eat roast beef, remember?)
Sadly, Khalifa didn’t have the foresight…
…to see what was about to hit her:
And because the sting of being rejected by your home team isn’t enough:
BAM, right in the heart.
Better luck next time, Mia.