Ants attacking roach. Photo: WIN-Initiative (Getty)
There’s gross and then there’s whatever you call this.
A Chinese man recently went t0 a hospital in Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province complaining of ear pain. The reason the poor bastard’s ear hurt might not come as a shock considering the headline — there was a cockroach hanging out in there.
Thankfully for all of us, before the doctor did the man a solid and removed the roach from his ear, he had his assistants make sure every camera in the operating room was rolling so we could have our lunches ruined:
It isn’t known for sure how the cockroach became embedded in the man’s ear, but he told doctors that his best guess was that it happened while he was sleeping. Although, if you ask us, that’s exactly what some dude with a “cockroach in the ear” fetish would tell doctors to throw off the scent.
After all, they’re doing some pretty crazy things in an effort to get their rocks off in China these days. On more than one occasion, dudes have slipped their manhood inside a wedding ring. Not surprisingly, it didn’t turn out too well for those “gentlemen,” but the word on the street with the ear roach guy is he’s going to be just fine.
Now, if you don’t mind, we’re going to go take a shower and be sure to clean out our ears with a q-tip several times. Then, we’re going to take another shower just to be on the safe side.