No 8/10 and above is safe on Instagram when it comes to athletes shamelessly trying to get their dick wet. Ever heard of Heidi Hoback?
No? Me either. You’d think most athletes would stick to picking up at least semi-famous Instagram personalities like the notorious Mia Khalifa (despite the fact that she’s notorious for posting the attempted DM slides), and yet here we have Heidi Hoback, an admittedly hot girl with 108,000 followers on Instagram. But when I say “hot,” I mean hot in the same way that people think Aubrey Plaza is hot: her face is whatever, but she seems like a cool chick who’d be fun to grab a beer with. Hoback apparently likes hunting…
…which inflates her rank on the hot scale from a 7 (personally, I think she’s got a butterface) to an 8.
108,000 followers isn’t that many for a famous person, but for the average chick with an iPhone and fat ass, that’s a lot. Or at least enough so that Lebron James took notice and sent her the following pickup line:
You know who ends their messages with “lol” even though nothing they said was funny? Teenage girls who are insecure and don’t want to come off as cranky in their messages; Lebron is a 32-year-old black man and my 16-year-old cousin has better game than he does.
To me, Heidi was the one on top here since Lebron had clearly taken his man card and burned it while typing that message…but then she had to go and pull some pussy-ass shit:
Really? You’re gonna blow up his spot and then block out all the stuff you wrote in response? That’s bullshit. And if you’re paying attention, note how she wrote two whole paragraphs plus a third message in response – any time you write a friggin’ book in response to a two-line text, you know you’ve done wrong.
But Lebron, come on – “Wow!!!! No freaking way” is something you say when your mom texts you that she found $20 on the ground and you don’t actually give a fuck, or when you’re a 32-year-old NBA player trying to relate to the youths of today. Oh wait…
But who am I kidding anyway? Dude could’ve messaged her “Sup bitch wanna s my d” and it probably would’ve worked. Money + fame = you can get away with almost anything. Almost.