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If you were suddenly in desperate need of $2,000 and only had $2 to your name, how far would you go to get that money? Most people would sell their car, hit up friends and family for cash, or grab a second job in order to come up with the dough – but that’s here in America. In America we have rules, like “Calling someone fat and/or retarded is equivalent to murder,” or “You can only drive cars and motorcycles on the road, not tanks or bears.”
But in Russia?
You can basically do whatever the fuck you want as long as Putin’s cool with it.
Which brings us to 18-year-old Ukranian student Yulia (let’s be real – Ukraine is eventually going to become Russia whether they like it or not). Yulia is in desperate need of $2,000, but has nothing to her name worth selling – except for her virginity, which she is trying to sell in a local newspaper.
Because none of us can read hieroglyphics, here’s a quick and dirty translation:
Lovely girl, 18 years old, a student. Will give my virginity to a serious man who offers me financial assistance of 50,000 hryvnia.
The meeting will take place in Melitopol only at a place of my choice.
Money is needed for a good cause, not to be spent on entertainment or waste.
Will submit to a medical examination in order to prove virginity.
There will be no competition; I will say yes to the first real man.
Brilliant, brilliant plan. The only flaw here is where she gets brutally murdered and stuffed into a drainpipe, but to safeguard against that inevitable outcome Yulia says that she plans on having a male friend collect the money from the man, having said friend make sure the guy isn’t crazy, and then if Yulia doesn’t call the friend one hour after the deed is supposed to be done he will call the police.
Ok – but that doesn’t stop you from getting your brains bashed in and eaten by some whacko, it just means the cops have a heads-up that you’re dead. Great plan if you’re looking to make it onto Cold Case Files, terrible plan for seeing your 19th birthday.
Despite such an enticing offer, Yulia reports that the first responses to her ad were not “serious,” which should come as no shock considering even the most dimwitted of people would assume this is a gag. Or, at the very best, some sort of European bait bus trap where the poor guy is gonna wind up in a video on Pornhub getting sucked off by an 83-year-old retired porn star with no teeth. Every dude’s dream, right?
What do you think — would you take Yulia up on her offer? Let us know why or why not in the comments!
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