For Today In The Criminal Justice System Is Broken! – We go to Chicago. That is where 35-year-old Eric Bramwell may spend the next twenty two years of his life in prison for Grand Theft Remote Control. The bumbling burglar was found guilty of swiping the TV remote from the common room of an apartment building. 22 years? Man, he really should have joined the Stanford Swim Team.
So how exactly did Bramwell end up with such a lengthy prison stay for such a petty theft? Was it one of those fancy new, Samsung gold plated TV remotes that come with a Netflix button and are filled with cocaine?
It turns out it was more of a three clicks and you’re out situation. Being charged again with burglary in August of 2015 was the last straw for prosecutors who discovered that Bramwell had a long history of criminal activity and had stolen remote controls and televisions at other apartment buildings around the Wheaton, Illinois area in the past.
How much does this thing sell for on the street?
An attorney for the state, Robert Berlin said about the case; “Mr. Bramwell’s illegal activity and his history have finally caught up with him. Regardless of what was stolen, Mr. Bramwell repeatedly thumbed his nose at the law. He took what he wanted time and time again and expected to avoid the consequences. That’s not how it works, as Mr. Bramwell has now found out.”
Police were able to nab the suspect because he dropped a glove as he left the building and they were able to match a DNA sample in the state’s database of convicted felons.
OK, a few questions. What type of apartment building has a “common area” to watch TV with your neighbors? I mean I can hear my neighbors TV just fine because they never turn the damn volume down, but a shared TV? It sounds like he was already in a dormitory or a jail. ALSO: The police went into full CSI mode over a stolen TV remote and tested DNA from a glove? Did the remote thief kill Nicole Brown Simpson?
While no word on if it had a sweet picture in picture function, it was a universal remote. So he will have that to brag to the other inmates in the joint where he will have to serve at least HALF of his prison sentence before he is eligible for parole- a full 11 years. That’s a long time in the prison TV break room. If the remote goes missing they know who to look for. All kidding aside, this seems like a long time for swiping a remote. Time for a Break poll!
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