It’s been months since their wedding, but the world still has Meghan Markle and Prince Harry fever. Seriously, people can’t stop talking about them—whether it’s about Markle’s fashion or the couple’s honeymoon or, like, when they breathe.
This onslaught of coverage comes with its downsides, though, like rumors that range from mildly annoying to downright offensive. Interspersed in this chatter are a few theories so whacky and out-there you can’t even be mad at them. You just have to laugh. I mean, come on: The idea that Meghan Markle is a robot? That’s funny. And it’s not the only conspiracy theory that will crack you up. Below, seven extremely ridiculous ones.
This theory took off in June after a video showed “Meghan Markle” in the audience of Britain’s Got Talent clapping alongside “Prince Harry” but not moving her face, eyes, or lips. It turns out the clip was actually just a stunt promoting the Live Figures exhibit at Madame Tussauds in London. Someone was just wearing a mask of the robot Meghan Markle. It should go without saying that the duchess of Sussex is, in fact, a living, breathing human.
One man’s tweet set the Internet on fire November 27, the day Markle and Prince Harry announced their engagement. Greg Pollowitz, editor of twitchy.com, posited that Markle’s status as an American citizen will make her kids qualified to run for U.S. president and be in line to the British monarchy. “Brits are playing long-ball here, but it’s a smart move. They want America back and this is how they’ll do it,” Pollowitz wrote. This set off a ripple effect of theories suggesting Markle is just some political pawn in England’s plan to reclaim America, which is…nonsense. Hilarious nonsense.
The similarities between Markle and Prince Harry and the Love Actually characters Sam and Joanna are eerie. Off the bat, the physical resemblances are there, but this theory goes even deeper. For one, Sam in the movie is mourning the death of his mother at a young age, which Prince Harry obviously experienced in 1997. He’s won over by the musical talents of an American across the pond named Joanna, which has shades of how Prince Harry met Markle. You can read the full theory here, but take it with a very humorous grain of salt.
This theory comes straight from Vanderpump Rules‘ Jax Taylor, who tweeted, “Kardashians must be so pissed that the #RoyalWedding is taking their spotlight… don’t be surprised if Chris try’s to pull some shit and try and make it about her family in the next few days.” (LOL, that he spelled Kris’ name incorrectly.) His evidence? Just the fact that the Kardashians are, well, the Kardashians. This theory never came true—May 19 was all about Markle and Prince Harry—but that didn’t stop 1,158 people from “liking” it in support.
It’s hard to remember a time when Markle and Prince Harry’s relationship was a secret, but in 2016 that was the case. Everything about their possible courtship was speculative, so when British news show This Morning suddenly had “technical difficulties” during a segment about them, fans immediately got suspicious. Did the royal family cancel the broadcast themselves? Unlikely, but it’s a fun theory nonetheless. “#ThisMorning technical difficulties while talking about the royals ? Hmm suspicious…,” one person tweeted. Suspicious indeed.
This happened in September 2017, and some people were convinced the fingers Prince Harry held up in one photo were…demonic? Devil-worshipping? Trying to ward off evil? I’m 99 percent he just felt like holding his fingers in this way for arbitrary reasons.
Actor Paul Bettany threw this out there during an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He had no evidence to back it up besides his overall annoyance with royal wedding shenanigans. “I think that Meghan Markle might be a sleeper agent for the U.S. government,” Bettany joked. “The dad doing the photos thing, it’s like a false-flag event, I think the C.I.A.’s involved—everybody. I think Piers Morgan’s involved.” Imagine.